Thursday, January 12, 2006

When talk radio inspires deep thoughts...

I often say to folks that “Sex-Ed” is to late. If you wait till then you miss out on the important life lessons and values you need to teach your kids about important things of that sort.

Well a funny thing happened to Larry on his way to school yesterday. I was listening to Bill Bennett’s radio show and a man came on to talk about the site he dedicated to his daughter due to the depression and eventual suicide she felt because of her abortion. An abortion she had without talking to her folks (and she didn’t have to by any way shape or form as she was 20)

So now Larry is going to muddle in to the weird mushiness that is my stance on abortion.

Just as Sex education should start first with teaching your child how to evaluate good and bad life choices, and teaching them the skills. When communicating values on this subject you have to teach your child something else which is pretty tricky for parents to do on a good day. “If you have a big problem come to your parents for advice at least, and help if necessary.” Frequently though kids have big problems that are usually things you have to punish them for so this isn’t easy.

Getting teen pregnant, or getting pregnant in the whole “young college age” period is most certainly a big problem. And god having gotten out of that age not to long ago (and really it feels some days like I am still in it) I realize you aren’t able to make the best/most rational/most emotionally grounded of choices very well. And even if nothing else being able to listen to advice from your parents in a mostly non-judgmental way to either help you do the right thing, or at least point you in the right direction.

The future offspring I have will have to make their own choices some day, but I know to many people who after having abortions and suffering any form of complication when they go to choose to have a pregnancy feel the two things are linked and become deeply depressed, even if the events happen years apart. I know also many women who still weep years afterwards about the loss of the unborn child whenever their thoughts drift to those children. We live in a society that tries to break abortion down to a simple “procedure” and I want to try to make sure any child of mine understands before she should have to make that choice, indeed before she even gets pregnant, it is so much more.

To any future daughter I am going to want her also to be able to rationally consider the medical risks (such as they may be) in such an action.

But to do both of those things she is going to need a comfortable and stable place to make her choices and to take all this in and think. That’s what I am going to want as a parent, and that’s why you need to fight the good fight much earlier. It is why you fight that fight much earlier.

As for what she chooses well…If the child is not even above the age of 18 then my role as a parent will be slightly more then establishing the important social stability factor. But in the end whats most important is having a child who will talk to me…and accept the fact I may not agree with her choice but I am there to help her make the best choice.

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